10 October, 2011
Opening A Window
"When the Lord closes a door, somewhere He opens a window." - Maria, The Sound of Music
When I quit my day job a few days ago (a hard decision made for various reasons), my plans were to write while I looked for another, similar job. I've been freelancing for a web content supplier for some time now, so I knew it was possible to make some money at it. It wasn't meant to be a permanent solution. But, in the midst of resumes and applications, I found myself disquieted and unsettled at the thought of yet another 9-5 job. More and more, I was asking myself what I was doing and why. What was the purpose?
Because we need to eat, I firmly reminded my rebellious side.
Despite this, the dissatisfaction would not leave. It wasn't until later that the realization dawned that the disquiet flowed from another, quieter, need. I wanted to write. The passion called from deep within. It begged to be set free. Fulfillment could be had if only I reached for it. On that whim, I looked for freelancing jobs and was surprised to find that, paired with the supplier I already wrote for, it just might be possible to make enough to equal the pay from the 'regular' jobs I was looking at.
I had several conversations with the hubby and did some careful thinking. Then a friend posted this on her Facebook by Mark Twain: "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
Tell me that's not a sign.
More conversation and a few desperate prayers later, I decided to do it. I would grab hold of this writing thing and not let go unless it failed miserably. Because it's my dream. It's one of my deepest desires. I want to write. And, while getting one of my novels published is still the penultimate goal, writing anything soothes that longing lodged in my heart. It gives me purpose. If it takes a leap of faith to fulfill my dreams, then so be it. So it shall be written. So it shall be done (come on - I couldn't resist some Yul Brynner).
When you feel so strongly about something, I think you should listen. But I still feel like I just stepped - fell? got pushed? - off a cliff. I hope and pray there's something waiting to catch me at the bottom.
How will you take hold of your dreams today?
Note: Advise, encouragement, and prayers are very welcome, as are any recommendations or notices about freelance opportunities.