03 April, 2015

C is for Crucifix [A to Z Challenge 2015]

Today's post is a story written for Flash! Friday.

For those not in the know, writers from all over the internet meet up each week at Rebekah's blog to write a 200-word max story from a two-part prompt. Winning gets you attention, an interview on the blog, and more attention.

As I perused the other entries, I must say that this one by Mark K. King held me riveted. Such visceral beauty in so little space. Please read it if you have the chance. It's well worth it.

Without further ado, here is my own entry (the word prompt was "blunder"):



Crucifix

by Jessica Marcarelli

The desert sands are unfriendly to a lone runner who carries no provisions. But I can’t stop.

The cat of nine tails tore flesh from bone. The crowds jeered and screamed all around the whipping post. Blood spattered my sandals.

Overwhelming heat suffocates my lungs. I pant for air that will not come. I can’t stop.

He stumbled during his forced march through the streets and I turned away. Someone else took the wooden beam. It might have been me if I had not denied my belief in the scrutiny of the long night before.

My legs begin to shake. Every step drives fresh agony into aching muscles. But I can’t stop.

On the hill of his crucifixion, I abandoned my fellow believers...and him. When the hammers fell and the nails pushed through his wrists, I fled. In fear and revulsion and grief, I ran as if my own grave had opened before me.

Clouds collide overhead. Darkness evaporates the light. Freezing wind scatters the heat. A cry fills the heavens with agony. I collapse into the sands and weep. It is over. He is gone and my last act was to betray him.

Salt and dust fill my tongue as I plead for forgiveness.

17 comments:

  1. Wow, that works on so many levels! :)

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  2. I am loving your site!! Thanks so much for popping by my blog today, nice to meet you :)
    ღ husky hugz ღ frum our pack at Love is being owned by a husky!

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    1. Thank you! It's great to meet you, too.

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  3. Quite descriptive, can feel the need for air, reading it.

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  4. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  5. Powerful post. Well done Jessica.

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  6. Very powerful story! Kind of creepy in a sense, because it could be The Crucifixion (historical) or a crucifixion (sad current events)_I like that a very clear event is taking place, but the who and when is open.to interpretation.@Get Lost in Lit

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    1. Thank you! While my intentions differed a little from your own thoughts, that's exactly why I wrote it with generalized, open language - I love that you can take away your own version of the story.

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  7. Very visceral descriptions; made me feel like I was there. Nicely done for 300 words!

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  8. Wow, this makes me thirsty! Great story, I love it.

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  9. Wow ... totally love this. You have such a way with words.

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