When I write, I tense up inside. Before the words ever hit the page, I'm wondering if anyone will like it.
"Will they think I'm stupid?"
"Surely that will be obviously juvenile to anyone who reads it."
"I might as well hang a sign around my neck that says, 'I can't write but I think I can' because that's what this sentence says about me."
I think these things because a warped logic tells me that thinking them will only only the good stuff to come out on paper.
As beneficial as this may seem in my head, it's not. In fact, after thinking these things, I'm more likely to go have a good cry over my terribleness as a writer than to dig in and "fix" my stupidity. And, if I do force myself to write after that kind of torture, my writing sounds just like I thought it would.
I have to learn to let go - of myself, of other people, of comparisons. Once I let go, the writing flows.
When I don't worry, the writing is fine. When I speak from my heart, it is good, coherent, even enjoyable. When I worry, everything falls apart.
I'm working at letting go on a regular basis. And it's not a bad idea for my life as well as my writing.
What about you? Is there something you need to let go of?
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Reminder: tomorrow is Saturday, so I need your suggestions for a flash fiction! The letter is M and the rules are here. Fire away in the comments!
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I need to let go of my terror of selling my jewelry at shows and in shops. I'm so afraid people will think my stuff is crap.
ReplyDeleteI've had the same fear in my writing. I think that's one of the most paralyzing fears of all.
DeleteHi, I've been writing for a while, but it's still hard to let go of my harsh inner editor when I write that first draft. I'm following you now, and I'll stop by the M link. I'm doing A to Z, so pop on over if you like! (Catherine Stine's Idea City)
ReplyDeleteI still have to face down my IE, as well.
DeleteThanks for stopping by! I'll definitely come on over.
OH, I guess I missed the flash fiction suggestion for this week. I'll visit your blog during the week to leave a suggestion before this-coming Friday!
ReplyDeleteFear is always something that torments the creative souls and something we have to learn to leave behind, to believe in our talents, to move forward. Nice, inspiring post. Well done!
ReplyDeleteFrom Diary of a Writer in Progress
I agree. Thanks for the comment and for stopping by!
DeleteOh man, can I ever relate to this! Amanda Palmer recently blogged about it, even (actually, it may have been a couple months ago, my sense of time tends to be wonky), she called it your inner fraud.
ReplyDeleteSo... for whatever it's worth, you're not alone.
~ Rhonda Parrish
Inner fraud - I like that. It's both a good and bad feeling that it's not just one person feeling like this. On the one hand, it's nice to have people to commiserate with. On the other hand, it's sad that so many of us feel like that.
DeleteWe all have those moments... the inner-critic-syndrome... I have them more often than I'd like to admit *sighs*
ReplyDeleteI blogged about it for my I-post.
I think we all do. The important thing is not to listen.
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